Nobleklok
by Gavvy Wolf-Kidd
Summary: The metalocalypse is nigh, and Dethklok must team up with nine unlikely heroes beforee time runs out. Toki/Skwisgaar pairing, rated M for later Scandinavian slash. *inspired by Metalocalypse season 4 and "Runes Shalt Thou Dream" by AG Bellamy/not listed as a crossover because the book is not on here yet*
1. Prologue

**Author's Note****: **Hi guys, I know it's been a while since you last heard from me and, to tell the truth, I've lacked inspiration and I'm very sorry for that. However, I've been getting into Metalocalypse again since the new season began and, well, I read a pretty fucked-up awesome book which inspired this cross-over (it may not be listed as a cross-over on the site as the book hasn't been out for that long). Some M/M scenes later on

**Nobleklok – Prologue**

"So you mean to tell me," Loki began, "that in years preceding that of the Great Battle of the Equinox War, a prophecy was foretold of five musicians who bring about an apocalypse of metal?"

Loki stared across his desk at the man with glasses and combed-back hair. He wore a dark grey suit and a red tie over a white shirt. The man's name was Charles Foster Offdensen.

"Yes, that is what I've just been telling you," Offdensen said. "In fact, if you look closely at your notes on the Ancient Fable – as I have done so – there are several allusions to a great many Dethklok songs."

Loki tented his fingers and looked down. His son, Ryan, had often raved about Dethklok. He listened to them when he thought of the young American whom he had befriended over the past few weeks. Well, Ryan often _said_ that Matthew was a friend, but in reality Matthew did not want much to do with Ryan.

"That may be the case," Loki told Offdensen, "but I must confess that I have not heard any of their music."

"It would be in your best interests, Loki," Offdensen said, slightly annoyed, "if you would consider just how serious this situation is. It could mean the end of the world as we know it. Unlike you I have taken the time to research the nine suspects while you have done little other than read exhausted source materials which clearly have no relation to the matter at hand."

Loki stood up and slammed his hands on the desk.

"I have read works ranging from Aristotle to Rowling, from Plato to Sitchin," he declared, "the Tribunal have hounded my family from Day One, hunted us like dogs, trying to extract any information they can about the nine! I have been searching for pre-empted warnings of the matter."

"Yes, I read your case file." Offdensen said coolly.

Loki's tanned face paled and he slowly sat back down.

"Yes, it would be in your best interests to remain quiet at this time," Offdensen continued in a professional tone. "Dethklok are currently preparing a free European tour as a part of their ambitions to rebuild the economy and, hopefully, the state of the euro and pound sterling. It would probably be a wise decision to have Ryan attend one of their concerts with Matthew for the sake of every species out there."


	2. Wish

_A/N: I do not own Metalocalypse (although I wish I did); I have a slight connection to "Runes Shalt Thou Dream" but it's a weird story. For all intents and purposes, whenever Toki and Skwisgaar are thinking during this story… it's in either Norwegian or Swedish which is why they don't think how they speak … Oh boy I hope that makes sense._

**Nobleklok – Wish**

"You ams a bully Skwisgaar!" Toki yelled as Skwisgaar thrust the Kindle upwards into the air.

The Swede laughed as he caught it and held it from Toki's reach.

"GIVES ITS BACK!" Toki yelled, stomping on the floor.

"Whys shoulds I?" Skwisgaar teased. "This ams a gay dildo, and you ams dumb for reading it!"

They were standing at the edge of Mordhaus. Skwisgaar had seen Toki reading an electronic book about Norse mythology and vampires, and had decided to have some fun with the younger man.

"It amnst gay!" Toki yelled, loud enough for the world to hear. "Gives it back Skwisgaar, or you ams be sorrys!"

_ You wants to challenges me?_ Skwisgaar thought with a snide smile. _Accepteds._

He dropped the Kindle over the edge of Mordhaus, and caught Toki as the Norwegian dived after it.

"Ams you dumbs?" Skwisgaar scolded him, setting Toki upright. "It ams just a silly toys!"

"It amnst a toy!" Toki protested. "Oh Skwisgaar! You ams be sorry now!"

Toki's face was the picture of fury. He bared his teeth like a wild animal and launched himself at Skwisgaar, nearly taking them over the edge. Skwisgaar clung to the Norwegian, for dear life and pushed away from the edge, sending them crashing to the grass.

_He tried to kill me! _Skwisgaar thought. _The bastard!_

Skwisgaar wanted to slap Toki, punch him, yell at him… but he didn't feel like he could. Skwisgaar had landed on top of Toki and was now looking into the Norwegian's pale blue eyes. He felt a little bit awkward in this position, but at the same time he felt right.

"Toki…" he began, but Toki cut him off.

"Why ams you always ruins thing for mes?" he demanded, pushing the Swede to the side. Skwisgaar landed hard on the grass, looking across at Toki.

"It ams not fairs!" Toki continued, looking away in anger. "Yous gets all the pretty goyls, I ams keep getting kiddyses awardses. I hates you Skwisgaar! I wishes that Sylvan Dreyfus woulds comes and eats you and makes you into a zombies!"

Skwisgaar laughed. Sylvan Dreyfus, according to a Finnish story that had made its way to Sweden, had been a Swedish-born General who had died in 1809. Instead of dying, the General had been turned into a vampire. According to the story, he was a psychopath from birth to death, to re-birth.

Skwisgaar didn't believe it, so he just laughed as Toki stomped away in a huff.

_Meanwhile… in Cambridge, England_

Sylvan felt the magic tingle the back of his neck as he sucked blood from the neck of a UK Klokateer.

He looked up and wiped his lips, smiled.

He was being summoned.


	3. Tribunal

_I'm going to experiment with this one – you all know how the Tribunal tends to go, so I'll let your imaginations run wild! ;)_

**Nobleklok: Tribunal**

"Gentlemen, we have a crisis on our hands."

"What is it this time?"

"It seems that Toki has unwittingly summoned a dangerous being upon Skwisgaar Skwigelf. Tension between the two guitarists has reached critical Levels. Here to explain more is vampirologist Hamstahiyahga Gabababuagabaub. Mister Hamstahiyahga Gabababuagabaub."

"Sylvan Dreyfus is not just a figure of history – he _is_ history himself. Born in Finland in 1762, he saw his beloved homeland fall into Russian hands after being mortally wounded in battle in 1809. Exactly one week after Finland became Russian, he died. Or did he? He became a creature of the night, a vampire, and spawned an urban legend, lost to those unwilling to do their research, but to those who want to know more he is the Swordsman General – a bloodthirsty General on the hunt for revenge. By summoning the Swordsman General in his confrontation with Skwisgaar, Toki Wartooth has lit the match on a powder keg, the resulting explosion of which could be catastrophic. The future of Dethklok could very well depend on Toki Wartooth retracting his summons."

"This could mean the end of Dethklok once and for all – the consequences could be dire."

"Let us watch the events unfold."


End file.
